Does anyone really know exactly what to do, no matter what the situation? If your closest family member died, would you know exactly what to do to make the pain go away? I feel like I never know what the hell I am doing. I can't make choices, I can't decide on anything. No matter what I choose to do, I feel doubt following me. Everything I do, everyone I talk to, it all requires choices that I can't make! I don't know what to say, or do, or how to react! Everything I do, I feel like it's a huge mistake. People say you should cry, that it lets out your feelings and makes you feel better. All it does is make you feel worse, it makes me feel pathetic.
I said yesterday that I lost a best friend, that I tried to know her, I tried to forgive her. I lost her, I miss her. Every decision we make has consequences, but how do we know whether the consequences are ones we can live with? I wish there were a way that we could just know, I....I don't know. What to do, I miss my friend so much. But I don't know how to get her back, I don't know if I can live with the decision I made yesterday. I want to forgive my friend, but I don't know if I can. Her choices affected more than just me, they affected other friends. I am defensive for my friends, I don't like it when people hurt my friends and I will try to find a way to make it stop. I can't help who I am, other people say that I should just stay out of it. That it doesn't affect me, yes it does, and yes I care. No, I won't stay out of it if I can stop someone from feeling pain. Who I am is someone who doesn't want my friends to be in pain, but I don't want my friends to cause pain either. I choose friends that I can help, if I can't help them, I am not a good friend.
Becca was my friend, I tried to help her, I tried to be helped by her. I don't know why yesterday was the breaking point, but I am terrified that it may have ended a friendship that could have gone on for years. If anyone has any helpful comments, please help me. Should I stay her friend, or should I leave her?
Dear Tleithi,
ReplyDeleteI think you should stay with her if you miss her so much work it out, ask her to meet you some place and try your hardest to work it out. If it doesn't work then I'm sorry for your loss but you have to try to work things out. Maybe she misses you maybe not but you still have to try. If she was your best friend then you would have to be hers. So you see she's probibly missing you very much. Try to get her back! Good Luck!