Boy Troubles

So Freshman year is over. Summer's just begun. And my life has gotten a whole lot more complicated.

So the last few weeks of Freshman year were really hard on me. The classes were fine, but I had that general stress about failing a class even though I had an A or getting in huge trouble about a fine that didn't exist. But the part that really got me was my friends.
So about a week before school ended, Jenn was gone, I had no idea where she went, she just disappeared. The teachers told her partners in Spanish that she wasn't going to be at school anymore. Obviously I was really worried, we had just gotten over this problem we had where she heard rumors about me and thought they were true. And just as we get close again, she falls off the face of the Earth.
If that weren't bad enough, Austin went missing too. All I got was this information that his parents took him away for a while. But he missed the end of school too, and I was worried sick about him. He'd been so depressed lately, so obsessed with Talia I was really worried something had happened to him.

The day after school ended I spent the night at Becca's. I was playing a video game on her xbox, when Austin showed up. I legitimately went into shock. I could barely speak, so I spent most of the time he was there hugging him. I had been so worried, and when he came back was this new person. He was much louder and stronger and happier. I was so happy to see he was ok. So that night when he finally had to go, he wanted to talk to me in private. He told me how grateful he was that I tried to be his friend and help him when he was depressed. It made me hug him again. But that's when things got complicated.

He almost kissed me. He leaned forward and I moved to the side and hugged him instead. I think that I knew what he was going to do before I hugged him, but it was reflex to shy away. I know what you're thinking. HOLY CRAP I'm an idiot. This is the guy I was in love with for years. But that's kind of the whole point., I was in love with him for so long, I gave up. I had almost moved on from him, and then this happens. He's been so different for so long, I don't know if I know him anymore.

Since then I've seen him a couple times, two nights ago we hung out at Becca's and watched a horror movie. I sat with Austin on the loveseat and ended up laying with my head on his stomach and his arm around me. He asked me if I wanted to kiss him and I told him 'not right now'. He asked me if I would when he left, and I told him no, because he was just getting back on his feet and he probably shouldn't be in a relationship anytime soon. He was ok with it and we went back to watching the movie. (p.s the movie was actually boring.)
And while we were watching the movie, Jenn called! She had been in Denver with her parents, and hadn't had any way to get ahold of me until that day. I was so happy to hear from her! For the first time in weeks I was completely stress free, except for the whole Austin thing.
Then last night we hung out at a playground. He was actually really fun to hang with. We didn't act like a couple, we were just comfortable. Of course, Becca was there with her sister and a new friend Hanna. (She's pretty cool) My mom had to give him a ride home actually, because he was going to be late for his curfew.

So do you see why I've been so confused? Austin actually wants a relationship with me, he's finally back to his real self, Jenn's safe, and it's the beginning of summer. But I'm not happy. Half of me wants a relationship with Austin, he's become the guy I fell for again. The other half wants to stay away, because I don't know how to be in a relationship.
I've never had a boyfriend, I've never been kissed, the only guy I've ever held hands with was him. He's the closest thing I've ever had to a boyfriend. I just don't know how to act. I'm terrified I'm going to screw it up and look like a total idiot.

So I was trying to sleep tonight, and I couldn't get it out of my brain. But then I came up with a solution. I really hope it works. Here it is:
I'm the kind of girl who is very old fashioned. I want poetry and romance and fun. I want respect and interest, and intellect.
I want a guy to go all 1950's on me. Take me out on a couple real dates, then ask me to be his girlfriend. Have me wear his class ring. The sweetness and innocence. So that's what I'm going to ask for.
I'm not going to try and make Austin be my dream guy. But I know what I need to make me happy, and that's what I'm going to get if he really wants to be with me.
I need him to take it really really slow with me. I'm going to ask him to take me out on a couple real dates. I'm going to flat out say that I won't be "dating" him, I'll just being 'going out on a date' with him. I will pay attention to how we are together, if we get along as a couple, if we have any real potential, then I will ask him if he really wants me to be his girlfriend, and I will make my decision.
How does it sound? I like it. But there's a glitch.
I'm going to my dad's the day after tomorrow. For a month, two states away. Austin says he wants to keep talking to me while I'm gone, but I don't think I'll have the chance to explain this stuff to him before I leave. So I'm hoping I can video chat with him, so we are at least kind of face to face.

Do you think this is gonna work out? Please let me know, and if you have any suggestions, I'd really love to here them.