???

Have you ever noticed that when your busy as a bee, and have so much going on in your head that it is easy to ignore things that your brain wants to ponder. But when you've finsihed all that needs done, and you are able to relax. Those things come back and haunt you.

 I know I sound like a little girl but I'm in love, and it's haunting me......  I have had so much to do, that I haven't had to think about it. But now, there is nothing to do and I am dying inside. I am totally and completly in love with Austin. Yah I jabber about him all the time but I can't stop myself! He is all I think about, everything I do reminds me of him. The shows I watch, the mustic I listen to, the way something smells, every little thing brings me back to him! I can't escape and I don't really want to. I like being in love, it makes me want to be selfish but also makes me realize I can't be.

 But no matter how much i like being in love, I am still dying. Austin is having a friends with benefits issue with his ex Alyssa. She even had the nerve to write that she loved him on his chest. Normally I would be able to accept it. But not when she is acting like a slut. (I'm sorry but it's true, if it weren't I wouldn't say it I swear) The same night she was kissing Austin, she was also kissing and hugging and dancing with pretty much 4 other guys. She even was hitting on this 16 year old when we all went bowling, Austin brought her so they could hang out. And she just ignored him or was disgusting, and when he wasn't around she was flirting with this dude.

Austin got upset because he thought this  man who worked for the bowling alley was looking at Alyssa's butt and so every time Alyssa got up she did the cat walk, because she liked that some creepy old man was watching her. I mean GOD!!!!!!!! This chick is pissing me off. And I STILL want to be her friend! I am so messed up in the head!

Someone please, I need advice! Anything, you guys haven't been commenting and I feel alone. Please give me advice!