talking to my sister.

I am in supervised study on the computer next to my sister. She isn't really my sister, but she's as good as. I'm so bored in this class, it's nice to talk to someone close to me. I miss him, the same him as always. I haven't seen him in forever. We don't hang out often anymore. Not even with Becca. Alex just left to go to math and make up work. I miss her already; I don't feel steady on my feet, I feel dizzy, like I'm on the edge of a cliff and I am trying to keep my balance. I am afraid I will go over the edge.

I feel kind of sick, and depressed, and tired all the time! It's not just being a 14 year old, I think I am going to die. something is wrong with me and I don't know what.it is, whether it's physical, or emotional, or mental I just can't figure out. All I know is it's affecting me, I don't feel social. I break much faster then usual, and I am having trouble with my temper. I will act normal as always but I need to find something that will let me relax and feel good. Something, anything really.

I hope I'm not too discouraging. I just need some help sometimes. People always want me to help them and I need some help too you know? I'm just happy that at least one of my friends is doing better. Alex has gotten lots more control over herself. She is being her and that's what she's best at. I have been trying so hard to help her feel more confident, and she is. :) I'm so glad. She understands better now that I need help sometimes, and that I am having troubles. She doesn't know how to help, but just the fact that she cares and wants to help makes me feel better. I <3 her. We are constantly telling each other we love them. We really do, we hold hands and hug and give each other nicknames, but we aren't lesbian, or bi. We are sisters, through and through, and we stick together.