Thinking About Me

Music is how teenagers in this generation express themselves. We all do it in one way or another. Some of us literally can't go a day without music because it's all that keeps us sane. I'm one of those people. I'm talking about the real me.I listen to so much pop and rock and I love it, it makes me want to get up and dance! When I listen to that music I feel like a normal kid. But I"m starting to realize something...I don't want to be normal.

 I'm the freaky girl who's still so young on the inside that loves to listen to Celtic and Gaelic music. When I hear it I don't just want to get up and dance, I want to sing the notes of the violin and let the music run through my heart and mind. I let it calm me and cleanse me. When I listen to it I don't want to swear or cry, I want to let my soul sing. I dream while I'm awake, of magic and beauty, of everything good in the world.

I spend so much time doing the things that make me feel normal that I don't even realize what I truly love. I love Celtic music, I love to act, and to read. I love to say crazy things and be hyper, I love to jump around in my nightgown pretending I'm at a grand ball. When I am myself around my friends they get scared and move away, because they rarely see the real me. I rarely see the real me. I spend all my time hiding from everyone else that I hide it from myself too.

I will continue to hide parts of the real me from the rest of the world, because I know that they just can't handle it. I'm too strange and silly, I'm too unusual and otherworldly. My mind works different from everyone elses and the only person I know who can handle being around me is my mother. She accepts me for who I am and doesn't try to understand me, which proves that she does understand me. I love my mama more than anyone in the world. I hate to say it but I love her more than my dad, I know that it's horrible but he trys to change me. And he doesn't want to see the real me. No one does except her.

Every day I think about how I don't know me, so how can anyone else know me? I do know me, I'm confusing and difficult, I'm argumentative, I like to be a fool. I dance around empty rooms when I'm alone. I dream about being a superhero, not a princess. My thoughts are like a panpipe song, all jumbled in a strange order that somehow manages to work perfectly. I'm the only me the world will ever see, and I want to enjoy it. I don't care about being beautiful on the outside because I know I am on the inside.

I might say mean things sometimes and lose my temper. I might be lazy and act superior sometimes. I wish I didn't. But that doesn't mean I'm not beautiful inside, I'm beautiful because I'm me. And no can change that, not with rumours or insults. I don't care about being popular or having a boyfriend. I don't care about what the public thinks I should be. The only thing I care about is what I want me to be.

I know that I'm not the only person in the world who hides who they are to make everyone else happy. I know that other people hide their favorite band because it's not popular, or pretends to enjoy things like shopping and fashion, when they really just want to climb a tree or go swimming in a river. I also know that everyone has something that lets them see the real them. And I know that everyone deserves to be allowed to show themselves to the real world. I dare you for one whole day, to not pretend. To show people who you really are. Don't try to please others, or be what they want you to be. Just be yourself.