Well, today made me feel horrible

Today was hard to deal with.....so basically it sucked.
       
         I mean, it was good but the fact that it was good made it suck, you know? I hung out with Court and we were actually getting along, we were having fun. We went to her house and I played some music. And then we went to library which is where my issues started. See, Court and I got on the computer for a while and then I got bored. So I went and found an interesting book to read while I waited for Court. And after we were ready to go Court took it upon herself to check the book out for me, which was really generous and I was very thankful for it. Except for the fact I that couldn't check it out for myself because I have a fine on my library card that is almost 40$! And I can't even pay it!
      
        And then we went to the mall, very girly don't you think? We went window shopping and found a ton of stuff that looked really cool on us, that we really wanted. And Courtney just kept saying that as soon as she got paid for babysitting she could afford to buy the stuff for me. I couldn't buy because there is almost no money in my families entire bank! Then we went to Riddles jewelry store in the mall and looked at really expensive stuff just cus' we were trying to trick the worker's into thinking we were rich enough to buy it. And Court succeeded by pointing out to me that she makes 400$ a month in babysitting money, cus' she babysits for 5 kids 4 times a week and gets paid 25$ every time she babysits! So that made me mad, she is always complaining about being poor when she has a salary of almost 100$ a week. That's almost as much as my sister makes as a waitress at Perkins!!!
       
        And last but not least we went back to her house, we listened to some more music, and she was told she was babysitting tonight. For 3 kids, and she was getting 15$ for it. So now we are going to go to the movies tomorrow, she is paying because yet again, I have no money. She keeps wanting to pay for everything for me, which I should find to be really nice but it is upsetting me.
       
        My family has no money, my mom is working 2 jobs and trying to get a 3rd that pays better so she can quit one of the ones she has now, our cable is turned off, and our phone, our house is falling apart with the electrical things. We keep having to borrow money from the family and they can't keep paying for us. There is almost never any food in the house, and we have 2 cats to feed who are running out of food. My only consolation tonight was that I would be able to call my cousin and see if he needed a babysitter, I have been telling him for weeks that I will babysit for him any time, and he keeps telling me that he will really need me. But when I called him he had taken his son to a different babysitter.
       
        My mom told me that the reason he hasn't been calling me is because of his ex-wife. She can't be alone with Zach(the kid), there has to be an adult with her at all times. There were personal issues as why to not. But since I am not an adult I can't supervise her, and I can't babysit Zach because Lindy would be stopping by every once in a while. So it's Lindy's fault! But Phil won't tell Lindy that she can't come over, which means that he has to take Zach to a babysitter that is more expensive then me because I can't watch Zach at his house!!!!!!!!!!!GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

       I am feeling exhausted. I am going to go to bed now. Tomorrow before the movies, I am going to a wedding. My cousin's wedding, I have to dress up and everything. I am going to be so tiredddddddddd.......byebye.