I am having a really crappy day.

So there has been a lot of shit happening and my life is feeling more and more worthless.

I have been fighting with Aj, and his girlfriend. And Becca, and I can't stand to be around anyone! My family keeps saying I have an attitude, when I just want to be left alone. But at the same time I just want to be held.
The guy I liked that I thought liked me back is istead still in love with Becca, even after they have dated twice already and she doesn't care about him. My life is so messed up. I just want to not be so confused.
This is going to be very random but that's because I can't think in one direction. That's not how I work!!!!!! I think about a million things at once, and it hurts so bad!!!!! I wish I weren't born. What would the world be like? Maybe my friends would be dead, but they don't seem to be enjoying life much. I don't want them to die, but I don't want to be alive. My head hurts so bad. I will be by myself forever because I can't be a  normal person!!! I am a freak and it hurts so bad! Just because I don't smoke, or do sex things, or drink, or do drugs. Just because I am not a badass, people hate me!
Everyone hates me! I know it's true. I used to dream about running up to the guy I loved and kissing him, and having him kiss back. He hates me. Everyone hates me!!!!!!!!!  I can't deal with this. I hate my life!